Adventures in the Pacific northwest. All sorts of trouble.

At this point its safe to say I've blown a bunch of money and caused some significant liver damage. I think I want to be a bartender when I grow up. Just part time. It will be easier on my internals... and my wallet.

I believe I last left it in Seattle, I've been really slacking on the picture taking here folks sorry. I still find it hard to believe people actually read this verbal diarrhea. Ramblings of a verbose, illiterate somewhat drunk mid twenty something. Hey Fed Ex arrived with a package for me. Thanks New Hampshire for holding it down. You know who you are.

I like having theme songs to these things

Remember that little book at the end of the last post? Well it was a good read when you're on the shitter. I think it gave me some good luck. That day I wrote a little poem for this girl I've been pursuing on the interwebs and she actually responded! But don't tell here. Here it is:

Dear Mz GoodMorning girl, 
I think of you from time to time 
And it ain't just cause 
you just so damn fine 

I really like what you wrote, 
and I want pick your brain 
that fact that you're ignoring me, 
is driving me a little insane 

No I kid, and its all in jest 
my mind is remaining sound 
despite the fact I'm writing you 
a poem the for the fourth time around 

I hope this brings a giggle 
or atleast a little smile 
if you're finding me annoying 
I'll try to apologize with style 

So I think this is how I'll leave it 
for now I think atleast 
so write me a back a good one 
Pretty please? you sexy beast 

Barring it for the world to see here folks and not without some hestitance. Thats not the word I want. Oh well.

I hate people that take pictures of food. But i have to show you this:

Middle row far right.

 So then I walked down to to the bar where my couch surf host was working. It was sunny when I left and pouring when I got there. Henry's. Good spot. Dope burgers. I had a long island, or three and was hanging out at the bar by myself. Accidently hit on some dudes girlfriend I didn't think I was but apparently he did. Oh well. Then this excellent thing happened. I was looking across the bar and I saw these to girls kicking it with this dude. I saw one see me see her and she looked right back. This happened a couple times. Finally I sacked up. Made a move. This is where it gets good, after a particularly long eye contact session I pointed at her with my index fingured, beaconed and pointed to the seat next to me. She looked away. Oh well I thought, next thing you know she walked over.

I was blown away, then she walked past me and gently brushed me. Awww shit, a foxy one. I think I followed her. I went to the bathroom and tried to time it so we came out at the same time. Failed. Returned to my seat. She came back and introduced her self. Striking. She and her friend were working the dude across the bar for VIP tickets to some show. She wanted to meet the some DJ. Hustler. I asked her if she was a groupie, she said no... Then yes, programmed her number in my phone and walked back to her friend.  Here she is:

I left for the soccer game. I had beer in my water pack in my jacket from the last game. Security was way more stringent. They wouldn't let me in with my ticket I bought from some scalper. Again it was pouring. They didnt like my knife. I went to another entrance I said they wouldn't let me in cause of the knife, showed it to them. They made me pour out my beer then let me in. The soccer sucked. I guess I'm used to European soccer or something.

Finished the game then headed back to henry's met up with Ben. But not before a cocktail waitress came over and introduced herself. I forget her name but she was very nice and quite beautiful. It's a shame she had to study that night.

Then Ben and I went out, i forget what happened. Nothing remarkable I guess.

The next day I kind of lazed around and got a whole lot of nothing done. The weekend had been a rough one. That night I went out with ben and his roomate and his roomates friend. I didn't really drink which frustrated them to no end. Two were bartenders and Ben and his roomate are both servers. We bounced around a bit then headed to this gas station that sold fried chicken gizards. Also known as colon destroyers... We went back to bens roomates boyfriends house. It was like 3 am. Things were winding down. He brought out connect four. His roomate and and girlfriend were like oh shit hes so good, his roomate bet ben a twenty i'd lose. ben took the bet but I canceled it for him... Then I beat the guys ass twice. Then he beat me once. I lost in such a way where he thought i might have done it on purpose. Which was a victory in of itself. We bounced.

Next day I met up with Nikko the magician. We (ben,nikko and I) went of for sushi lunch and I headed south for tacoma.

Tacoma rain forest:

I met with this wonderfully vibrant couch surfer named Lindsay, we went out for a walk, then went got dinner with her friend and then hit the town. Tequila bar and arcade games. It was a blast and I developed a little crush. Respectful of not treating couchsurfing like a dating site I didn't do anything. Which is good because it turns out she was seeing someone. Either way, she's great. Great little pitbull too.

Oh my stator came loose so I stopped at a shop and worked on the bike for about five hours. And demo'd a 1190 advernture R. It was bad. I like my bike better.

From Tacoma, I headed to Olympia. In Olympia with Bill, a wildcrafter and muscian he also grows wasabi. For those that don't know wasabi is an incredibly difficult thing to grow and only a handful of people in the country are able to pull it off. Bill is 65 and quite the man. He's done a whole shitload of traveling and he made me really want to go asia. I stayed there two days. He had another couch surfer staying with him Scout.

WASABIIIIIIII

Scout is travelling essentially the opposite of me. A super interesting dude he has a farm / rainbow family commune in Costa rica on twenty acres. He owns the land and has lived there for the last three years. He he grows fruit and lived off the land. He basically only eats fruit. 12 apples for lunch. He road his bike down there and then eleven thousand miles back. Fuckin cray cray.  Oh and he spent less then a thousand dollars doing it... Makes me feel like a total pussy. He is now enrolled in the botany school in olympia. Which by the by is an awesome town. Kind of reminds me of Brattleboro.

From Olympia I headed to Portland. I was super psyched to stay with this couch surfer..... Wait a sec. The morning I left Olympia I met up with a girl off okcupid for breakfast. Julie. She was cool, but not really my style. We parted ways and I headed to Portland. So i was psyched to hang with Paul -  this couch surfer with like thirty good reviews.

Paul had three other couch surfers staying with him, two chicks from Australia and a dude from Georgia. We all went out and then paul ditched us. Which was fine. He a funny dude -  I think he might be a little burned out on couch surfing though. The plan was to bar crawl to karaoke. Somehow we got seperated and it was me and one australian chick. We decided to go dancing and walked twenty blocks to some excellent hiphop dance clubs. Got our grind on. It was fun. Then we walked back. Miles and miles.

The next day I took an okcupid date for a Motorcycle ride. It was really fun, planned a route out to the coast but turned around half way out cause we were running out of time. It was a beautiful day. Her name is Julia - she just moved here from Brooklyn. She didn't have a helmet so she wore a BMX helmet and Aviators. Like a Boss. On the way back into town traffic was crazy. We did alot of riding in the bike lane. Then this truck and camper cut me off in the bike line. We hopped onto the curb and then launched off a little ramp in front of him. Highly illegal but a whole shit load of fun. We made it back in time. She went to work. I went back to the house and kicked it with the couch surfers. I cleaned pauls kitchen, I wasn't sure I liked him but I wanted him to know we appreciated what he was doing. They helped. Then myself and the dude from georgia went to walmart and bought alot of sangaria mix. A couch surfer I had contacted in seattle had moved to portland and was having a party. We planned on heading there. The australians and paul bailed on it. At the party we played musical flipcup and twister. Good times. A little straight edge but good times. Oh and we drank a shitload of sangria.

Sangaria... Like a bowwwws

Next day I packed my shit and headed to my god parents house here in south Portland. Pam and Ueli. I don't really know them but they are family friends they've been super gracious hosts. Ueli was going to run the a marathon that day but he'd strained a calf muscle and wasn't able too. Instead he dug a 25 inch deep trench that was 15 feet and a foot wide. Beastly. He's in great shape. I helped Pam do a little painting. They had friends coming over for dinner. It was a nice dinner - good wine, food and conversation. Turned in early. I needed a recharge.

Were going to free the shit out of you:

Next day, did a little painting then headed over to Julia's house for a dank ass taco or two. I kicked it with her and her room mate. The topic of bikes came up. I needed to go to REI and that was right next to where Julia works. She had to be at work at 3. We headed REI, got some cable housing, and cables for her roomates bike and some chain lube. I got some Darn tough ski socks. Can't wait to try em. Julias roomate and I headed back to her house and I tuned up thier bikes. Then headed back to Pam and Ueli. Had dinner and hung out. Julia contacted me around 10 when she got off work. I took a bus downtown to meet her. Took about two hours before we finally connected. Went to a couple bars. Then decided to walk back to her place. We were pretty loose at this point and decided to climb this bridge. It about thirty feet above the highway was this sketchy walk way. I guess she brushed something and she started to get electricuted. She stepped through it and was ok. Super fucking dodgey. She has burns on her hand where the electricity came out. Nuckin futs. Then we got caught by a security guard. We decided to leave. I rolled a couple ciggarettes for some bumbs and we walked miles and miles home.

Mancakes one time for your mind?

Yesterday, we drove around and tried to get her some furniture cause her house is bare. The we got twenty dollar hour massages. It was interesting. Then we met up with her roomate and went bar hopping. On the walk home from the bars her roomate decided she wanted to explore a construction site, naturally we hopped the fence and joined her. I found a dumpster and took out two pieces of plywood. and tossed em over the fence. Then hid them by a bush. I turned around just intime to see Julia fall backwards off the top of the fence. Renee rejoined us and they finally hopped the fence. Not thirty seconds later the po nine rolled up us. They told us there had been reports of people jumping the fence. We said he hadn't seen anything. I think he knew. We bounced. We were laughing and walking away and talking about it and we round a corner right infont of more cops. I changed the subject and renee started talking about how she wanted the bar tender. They left us alone. We made it back to the house and they realized we'd forgotten the plywood. They went and got it.

The end

Joe just made it to portland today, were going to cook a dank ass dinner for pam and Ueli. It's going to be gourmet as fuck. Its great to reunited.

Keep keepin it real ya'll.

Vancouver to seattle. Straight killin it.

You wouldn't see this nowadays. Specially not in Murrica.

Yup so I've been in Seattle less then twenty four and its already done me right. I fucking love couchsurfing. REEEEEEwind.

In advance sorry for the lack of pictures. I was busy having fun. Also this is not for my immediate family. Or extended family.

Please skip this one. It's despicable.

^

Definition of freedom. 

I took this picture right before almost getting in a fight with a bum for littering (him not me)

I went to that free comedy show. Total disaster. And it wasn't free. It was six bucks. Whatever. I spent the night talking with this german woman. At the bar. The comedians were so bad I felt sorry for them and apologized profusely to the german woman. We talked comparative solo traveling and about being lonely. I think she wanted me to go home with her  but I just wasn't quite feelin it. Oh well.

Third day in Vancouver, the day was pretty much a wash. Walked around Van with this swiss dude named kevin. He told me about there is this german chick in Colorado who wants him to move there and drive down to Ushuia with him. I strongly urged -  scratch that. I pressured the fuck out of him to do it. Apparently she's awesome. He's just being a massive pussy.

 I spent almost the entirety of the rest of the day it lining up couch surfing going down the west coast. I think at this point I'm set all the way to portland. Which by the way I'm psyched for because the dude that I'm staying with looks pretty cray cray. So yeah. Spent the day on the computer. A stitch in time saves nine folks. Thats nine african orphans. Thats right, learn how to sow time and you can be Angelina jolee.

So that night I met Amy, amy is a boss. Vancouverite born and raised she works as a bar tender. What did we do? Go out for comedy and drinks of course. And over pay for a hotel room. First world problems. We had a great time.

Next day, next day I took it kind of slow. Went on an okcupid date for some great food and better conversation. This Asian chick maury - she was super inquisitive and asked me a million questions. I think I talked to much. I met with this dude staying in my hostel. A german, he'd been being an oh-pear (I just asked my couch surfer how to spell oh-pear and he goes "what the fucks that", I go "someone who takes care of your kids for you when you're rich" he goes "oh like a maid?"

Yup, experimenting with dialogue here on the blog folks. And thats why you should go to college. Anyway.... I met this dude and amy had a couple friends going out. His name was uhhh Fabian. So I'm like fabian, want to get laid? Naturally he decided to come with us. We go out, snag a bottle of crown and hit a bar. Amy met us there with a friend..... Fuck forgot her name. It's alright. she just called me new hampshire the entire time .....anyway.

I skipping something. While we were sitting in our dorm room  this french dude came in, he was talking to us about how when he got to the hostel last night he there was a guy that had taken all the pillows and was snoring. So he next day he changed rooms and soaked all the guys pillows in water. He was in our room. We tried to appease him.



Later that night we went dancing. Alot. Then tried to sneak the girls  into the hostel so we could piss off the french guy but the door guy wasnt having any of it. Friend of amy called a cab. The german was a little hestistant and she was like "get in the fucking cab germany you coming with me". Aggressive. She basically raped him.

I left the following day. Drove down into the middle of nowhere washington. It was pouring rain and I was soaked and cold. I had this big sweet loop planned but was down pouring and i decided to forgo it and head to seattle.

I met ben here in seattle yesterday around four. I dropped my stuff off at his place, filled my camel back with bear and headed to the seattle seahawks stadium for a massive tailgate party. Then I got given a free ticket and hit of vodka with instrutions to tell this dudes friends to show me a good time. They werent in the seats but there was a cougar from Bozeman. Rawr. Enjoyed the game then left and met back up with Ben -  we hit the bars and then around midnight went to this rave at recording studio. Damn son -  just about nothing we did for the following four hours were legal.

Made it home and crashed out. Oh 15 girls liked me in less than twelve ours on Okcupid... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????

Seattle rocks... Going to a soccer game and then maybe a music festival tonight should be rowdy.... Hope all is well. Later folks.

 Now I definitely getting laid.

Back on the bizzike! Now in Vancouver

So yeah, definitely developed a love hate relationship with this blog. I got so pissed when it deleted my last post Almost hijacked a plane. Cause i know how to do that now... Not really. Anyway.
Pre Leaving whitehorse:

I left Whitehorse with Brian, we drove down to highway sixteen and he dropped me off and I hitched to Terrace.  The kid that picked me up was from Germany.

Got to terrace and inspected the motor. Made the decision to tear into the bottom end and replace the counter shaft because it was pretty smoked. This meant waiting 4 or five days for parts. I was couch surfing with a woman named Cheryl and her Husband. They put me up for two days. After ordering the parts I went to the cafe across the street. Cafe Vesta. I was with the owner of Kickstart, he asked the owner of the cafe how business was -  turns out she was looking for help. I told her I could work for her for the next 4 days. I got a job washing dishes. I stayed with Bernise for a night or two and installed a electric dog fence for her. My hands soft from washing dishes got pretty torn up. I washed dishes for one more day -  they paid me about two hundred bucks and then my parts came in. Mike the mechanic at Kickstart let me help with the entire tear-down and rebuild which was awesome. We got the motor built in about a day and half. I put the bike together the second and third day and dialed in the carburator.

While in Terrace I also stayed with one of the serves Kaitlin -  I dont know if thats the right spelling there are way to many ways to spell that name. I also went out to this bar called back eddy a couple times. Played some chess with some random people. That was pretty fun.

The thing pulls hard. the 570 kit is boss. I took off the third night of building in the rain. It was six thirty when I left I just wanted to get out dodge.

I stopped in Smithers and rented a motel room. I was soaked and cold. It was called the mountainside. Not a bad spot. The next day I stopped at Eyecandy customs - did a quick oil change and had lunch with smokin' sam.

Back on the road with the the fresh oil change I headed for prince George. I took some neat dirt roads. It was raining. I had some good music playing and some good thoughts I wanted to blog about. I've since forgotten them but got damn its good to be back on the bike.

In prince george I stayed at a hostel and went out to a random bar. Forgot the name -  nothing special.

Next day I took off for a rugged day of riding. Lots of high speed logging roads and one trail that beat me and made me turn around. Here are some pictures. I ran out of water -  sweated my ass off and crashed about 20 times. It was the trees man -  trees across the trail every 20 feet. I was eating mad blue berries.

I got into Whistler that night... Wait I skipped a day... I guess I stayed in Williams lake for a night.

Anyway - when I got to whistler I was couch surfing with a girl named monique. I was bone cold. Like cant get warm cold. She wanted a ride down to squamish because she was spending the a couple days on Vancouver Island. I showed her the bike and we decided to try it. She had a backpack and a bag of clothes. We strapped that shit on the next morning and we headed for for Vancouver. The bike was seriously loaded.  But I could still do a solid 65 to seventy miles an hour. It was pouring rain and windy. 3k from where I need to drop her off the chain snapped. I had a master link. I put it back together. Then it snapped again. Fucked. We waved down a taxi for her and I called a tow truck. I asked the triple a lady if the KTM dealership i was getting towed to was open. She said it was. We got there -  it was closed. Course. I went next door to the food dealership and asked if I could store my bike there. They went above and beyond. Dan the service manager let me roll it in then went online and printed me directions to town by public transportation then had a kid that worked there give me a ride to the bus station. It was awesome.

I got a bed at the Cambie Hostel in downtown. Went down to the bar below -  the bartender suggested I do a bar crawl down East Hastings street. Dive doesn't begin to describe this place. There are crackheads for about 10 blocks straight - everyone is trying to sell or beg for something and the bars were brutal. People just wander around looking like empty zombies. Its fucked up. I've never been to a place like that. I didn't eat anything all day and after the seventh bar lost my wallet. It was 9 30. I stumbled back to the hostel and crashed out but not before being propositioned by a couple hookers. I thanked them but passed. I think they decided I'm gay.

Today I road the train and bus back to the ford dealership and got my bike and went next door to the KTM dealership. The owner Troy was very helpful and let me do my oil change and replace my chain in the shop.
Mapleshade motorsports.

I headed back to the hostel and began my search for my wallet. I walked up and down the street. The last bar I went in had it. So stoked. I thought it was gone for good. Tonight I'm heading to a free comedy show. Should be fun. Two more days here in Vancouver then I think I'll head for seattle.

Whirrled Peas